Most people's view of history and time is necessarily 1 dimensional to me. We record only what did happen and forget or cannot know, if outside of our perspectives, what might have or could else have happened. I know within the frame that I work within, what else I might have done and some of the effects which would have followed from them. Time "chunks" as I call them in the notes. Also referred to as, “For most people the future is what it will be and will be only 1 thing, for me the future is what it was and was many things.” Not the only interpretation on that but the one most relevant to what I am writing now.

          I know vaguely what I would have told the French at the Embassy in Estonia if they gave the slightest inclination toward hearing me out and where that might have led. I know if there had not been the leaks a year later during my asylum processing exposing rampant criminal behavior by the Bush Administration which had then begun to be admitted to publicly, as others have said, the first President to have publicly admitted impeachable offenses, I would not have tucked my tail between my legs and come home without saying more than I did. I know what I would have written if the Democrats did not win Congress in 2006 (RCP3). But unlike others who are in power now, I give the environment and reality its due and react accordingly. I try to let the system work whenever possible unless I see it heading over a cliff.

          My survival instincts are good and best when not limited to myself. When I sense impending danger, and avenues of events leading to a trap at some point in the future, I react, how would it best be termed, creatively, with things few would expect to throw everything off in a new an unexpected direction which hopefully would lead to firmer footing. That was something that I think had been known for a long time, and if known by others, could be manipulated. But that is too simple of an explanation because once someone becomes aware what others are aware of, or want to manipulate, the cross-effects of that become quickly unchartable. More simply put, trying to screw with those who know they are trying to be screwed with constant plays off of each other and leads to directions all over the place neither can control or predict.

          I have seen events predictable but happening out of order, and the order of the play controls that one dimensional thing we call recorded history, and even greater, what did happen “really” as opposed to what only might have happened. Like all great empires, the US tries burying things that “really” happened, are happening, thinks this can greater contain and control potential future effects to be free from what “really did” happen. It is to get suckered into that one dimensional view of time more than one should. What might have happened continues on unseen, and what really did happen finds new ways to throw itself back into the mix to get the attention of those who choose to ignore it or think they can escape it.

          From what I have called my experience with my government's unrestrained desire to know things, to want to figure out the unconscious mind, that last measure of defiance to complete domination, predictability, and control, I see it in another way or by another word. I seen it as a manifestation of the spirit, of consciousness itself, and their constant desire to break it and control it as the greatest evil possible. Books such as 1984, Brave New World, films like V for Vendetta, Brazil, and others have show where that road leads yet still we have not yet taken one step away from following and creating that path, at least not where the US is now openly leading us all instead of coyly as before while we dozed off or were otherwise distracted.

          And I am not the first to see the unconscious or semi-conscious mind as a manifestation of the spirit. The “mystics” in the Bible who wrote it, they were “visionaries” whose dreams, supernatural insights or delusions, have charted a predictable, and often predictably bad course for humanity for thousands of years now, their insights first incorporated into Judaism, then carried over into Christianity, then into Islamic religions. They are based upon the dreams of others for whom we cannot vouch for their authenticity (or character thus making them unchallengable) other than that because they have gained steam over generations, have become history in that 1 dimensional sense, they will seemingly continue to be included into history for quite some time, and are an integral part of the human consciousness of today, and ought best be conformed to and respected, or at least be respectful of. But they too are both a part of the 1 dimensional history and susceptible to it when they fail to follow or accurately portray what really did happen from what they prefer to say did, for the purpose of gaining greater power through more and more followers, or more passionate ones, and trying to affect more and more generations.

          People forget that this “earthly” form of power depends upon warring against the future as much as Bush has declared he hopes to. At no point did he tip his hand more than declaring the fight he fights now a fight against ideas, of stopping a would be Hitler or Marx from being able to state their “poisonous” ideas. Such ignorance, such shortsightedness many who know history can say this leads to the most repressive forms of government, the most unrestrained brutality and torture and threats of torture, only to be eventually universally condemned when they are finally not allowed to control the debate anymore. They control only the 1 dimensional view of history and not even that completely. They will never eradicate the ability of people to dream, or to want, or to know of the “what else”.

          And even for an American, it is impossible for me to comprehend that he and all who would listen to that argument and nod silently or applaud it loudly, how they can be ignorant how the US itself has been changed and improved by the ideas of Socialists begun by Marx. Without them and their influence, no labor unions and all the good they have done, no free libraries, no free public education, no 40 hour work week, no payments to the elderly or unemployed, no Medicare or Medicaid, no America as we know it today. It would be incomprehensibly harsh and foreign but that removal, that distance, is easily translated into denial for those who wish to profit from this misrepresentation of the past's effects on present reality, and by the wish to send the future in a direction few if any would openly agree to if told the truth of what they are really saying and trying to do. To keep the future and humanity from growing in an unpredictable but potentially positive way. They are the far from the first at this either.

          Back to religion and “earthly” power. Their political power comes from raising the past, or their representation of the past, higher than what can be done by people in the present or they allow those in the present to do or to aspire to, putting it above their heads so to speak, to keep it “safe” from us breaking it. The Bible or Old Testament could not be amended forever so at one point it became time for those in political power to say, this is it, it is done, no more revisions, no more amendments, no more add-ons. What I call the first “Constitution”, but one inherently unable to grow or to change or to evolve. The pressure against this 1 dimensional view, the desire to funnel spirit into an unchanging direction unyielding to change and amendments met its match within that society by one far more popular revision, and not just one new prophet added to the end but a whole new “testament”, a single vision of one man or predicted “son of God” and a whole new wing was built onto an old religion making it what some now call what was then a new religion because the changes were far reaching and fundamental.

          But that was it, or so it was thought and sometimes still is. But there WERE amendments! The “12 Apostles”, or at least the ones the established powers in the church later and now chose and choose to acknowledge. Their early writings beyond interactions with Jesus were written into this new bible much the same as the “prophets” of the original Jewish Bible. Not only did these writings flesh out this “new” religion by giving it a wider foundation but also along the lines of the old Bible, they were basically allowed by acquaintance, to be held up as virtual prophets themselves, except one Roman who never even met Jesus, and they in essence amended through “clarifying” his message.

          No one of these “amendments” has wrought more havoc on what was intended to be a positive non-violent, altruistic movement than “Revelations”. Like with the prophets of the “original” Bible, one dream or semi-conscious vision of a “prophet” was tacked on later and eventually came to redefine or obscure for some, the original thrust of the entire point of Christianity, a Utopian view, but not one to be created through fire, holocaust, or genocide, the very reality of what we are on the brink of today. Such is the power of revisions, amendments to holy writings, to constantly threaten to throw them off in new directions because the future, that non-one dimensional history, is always wanting to go in other directions and the past, when in chunks like large histories religions provide, are turnable in the present, and tend to wipe out everything in their path when the are turned, in this instance not for the better but in the most destructive means possible.

          Nothing I have fought against more in the past than “Revelations” because so many have found it a means to power in the present and in the past, one horrific “vision" that has become accepted, even looked forward to by such a large number of people. In some sense, only giving them a little of what they want will enable them to get perspective upon it, even though most that would aspire to it, who cannot see how that is manifest against all that is good in their religion, even showing the truths of the evil within it of mass murders and unnecessary deaths of millions while ongoing, which is for them, pardon the expression, rapture.

          To think the Catholic Church and other major Christian religions can once again in the face of genocide of this scale sit on the sidelines and only mumble vague tut-tuts and harrumphs in opposition to this and not be viewed as once again abetting, but this time, now central to the machine of genocide, accomplices to all that is about to be done, by far the greatest evil possible, and from what was meant to be and held by them to be the greatest good. Now is the only time possible for Christianity to redeem itself of the genocides of the past, of the Inquisition, of aiding and abetting colonial genocides of aboriginal peoples, and countless other crimes which cannot be erased even if forgotten. The entire legacy of Christianity as a “good thing” is now on the line due to one vision and how it has been spun and used as an excuse to destroy worlds and civilizations, and now our world and our civilization is in the cross-hairs of it.

          Islam too has recognized the danger of amending religions indefinitely, and also the power it leads to in the present by those who seek to encase the past as all done, what religions themselves seek to do. The major questions have been solved and the answers are right here in this book. That religion too like the Christian religion, included the “visions” of the Jewish prophets, plus the teachings of Jesus whom they considered one of the holiest prophets. But after Mohammad, no more. He is the last one. History is done now and you can read the most important parts in these books. I do not mean to disparage this or all religions but that is in essence where their power comes from. Making the future the past, or as much like it as one can succeed. Since the past is gone, through how the past is represented to the present. Each of the successive “revisions” or new religions based in part upon the Jewish Bible has gained many followers all over the world, yet because they have limited means to change, eventually these "children" religions of the same source seemingly are inevitably going to again come into horrific conflicts unless conflicts become impossible. And with most of the wealth of the world now deriving from and depending upon conflicts, sooner rather than later.

          To me, and as it should be, this is all the background scenery. The lives and deaths of billions before me and after do not affect me outside of my own choices of what to do, and how to interpret them. How to “feel" about it all. Some get angry at injustices done in the past and present, and wish to change things for the better in the future. In some, this anger turns to malevolence and leads them to do more harm to more others, creating cycles of violence that only will forever put off the peace or positive changes they think they are advancing or hope to advance, and prop up those who profit from the conflicts to continue in power through the wealth these conflicts provide them with. Some get overwhelmed by it all, become hopeless or distraught, and begin to become non-variables, those who will give up whatever sense of empowerment is to be found within their present societies or circumstances and prostrate themselves to the powers that be to do with them and their lives as they see fit.

          I have sought out interpretations on how to deal with this time, these events now coming at me out of order, and sought out religions of the past, their guidance in how to deal with these conflicting aims and notions for the future. I know of the comfort in them, but for me, there was always choice. I was not bound by the religion I was raised in only to look in for answers, and due to the limitations and the weight of “Revelations” in peoples expectations, seeing outside my religion's box was a good thing, and lead to far wider possible choices of what to know.

          I know of the need to challenge the powers that be when they are wrong, and that challenge, if successful or not, is never wrong. They all, in one form or another, want the future to conform to the guidelines of the past or past ways of thinking, but there are times when common sense moves us to see that that is not going to happen, and in those brief times, humanity is allowed in large numbers to think for themselves. It is then and sometimes only then that real answers can be found. I have great faith in the common sense of people and for that reason I think democracy is a good thing, but not any kind of democracy in the present. They are built on lies, on untrue histories, patriotic, idealized, mythologized, and these manipulations of the truth leads to publics that are misinformed to be mislead, and democracy has nothing to do with it.

          Ironically (or not) within this system of falseness, those who have the most contempt for democracy have the most control over it. People must be “guided”, their passions “restrained”, yet this “restraint” never seems to preclude war whipping hysteria, dehumanization of “enemies” and actually feeds into it because those doing the “restraining” are actually guiding societies towards their own goals their publics would never agree to. And thus the definition of “power”, to take others where you want, to use them and their lives as you wish, regardless of their opinions or desires to the contrary.

          To balance the past, not only have I had my own wants and desires which for me take no quarter with ANY powers that be, political, religious or otherwise, because I have been raised by myself by my own “visions” for the future and what it should or ought best to be. For me that holds precedence over all else, and makes me potentially as despotic and insensitive to others sufferings and wishes for the future as any now in power could ever be, yet there is much positivity in current religions (not stressed now by many at the tops of those religions) to balance that, to democratize the future in a way that does not need to conform to anyones views upon or for it.

          And that is what the Universe does, balances what you want to do with what others allow you to do, and over time, near or short, whatever you hoped to instill upon the future will be lost, changed around, its meaning will be distorted and even diametrically opposed to what you intended, and sometimes even then also be done in your own name.

          My initial “visions” or “interpretations” were also founded in Revelations, so I have much in common with the maniacs now in power today. Like I have said above, I have been fighting against that view much of my life, how to push it, change it, amend it to limit its potential for damage, yet also to not interfere with the democratization of a future that should be decided by all together when the time comes. But time, at least for me, is running short. What the future is heading towards now, while some sort of twisted torturous double-think monstrously selfish yet preachingly the epitome of virtuosity, even far greater in scale and absurdity than is now manifest, yet it is a future to which I must yield must be allowed, though I can fight to the death to say it ought not to be chosen, agreed with or upon, and fought against whenever possible. That fight when engaged is always won, that environment of things needing to be fought against will always be there, yet it ought to be engaged not with some “other”, some “enemy” but the shortcomings within yourself and to alter your own society that defines you, makes you something better or something worse.

          As I have said, I know things besides what did happen, at least within the context of my own life and potentials. More than what can happen, more than what did. The best analogy is an infinite number of new universes appearing every second depending upon choices. All exist, all can be known, yet time requires the choosing, and that provides the definition. What there is to choose from, that is not always part of the choice, not under direct control, but to submit or not to the choices offered is a limited way of breaking the rules. That is what alters the mix for those who seek to yoke humanity, to restrain the human spirit for the purpose of political power today and greater influence and power for their heirs tomorrow. I have been motivated since earliest childhood to stop what is being done in research to control people, break them, yet I know this is impossible to stop because of the potential power and profits behind it make its desirability irrepressible. Yet such abuses can be mitigated, delayed, pushed into the future a year at a time, for more reasonable persons and societies than we deal with now to grapple with the implications of this drive to turn thinking humans into programmable machines.

          The “taught” past has always had to vie within me against this future desired direction. The past for me is ultimately a tool to be used, a ground to stand upon to go in the direction one chooses through circumstances you create and which create you, combined, inter-dependently. My memories are more complex than most peoples, and I have had more reason to doubt them than most can comprehend. Yet a past drives me and a future guides me, and when in sync, it is effective enough, hopefully, for the moment and its requirements, both in what I feel the need to do, and hopefully, what ought to be done.

          Though this is not RCP3, (the time and need for that has passed), as I said in RCP 2, I *KNEW* Tartu before I went there, every street, it was all familiar to me on first sight on a TV screen in a way I cannot describe, but that is not the only place over there I knew beforehand. From this present, it makes sense, that feeling of deja vu about Tartu, as I was there in that town longer in continuous duration by far than anywhere else previously in my life. Yet I also recognized then another place I had not yet gone and knew in another sense. Both of these “recognitions” combined to make going to them predictable in a way too great to really reasonably be able to stand up to, but it was more than that. To know for certain a potential for future events when the present is endangered and unmanageable, tempts one to take it. Because I did not know the source of these potential precognitions, the potential implications of the far away nature in time and distance, and interfering with things I swore to avoid, made me constantly have to double-think not only the future and what I was hoping to achieve, but what events past which might have contributed to creating that path which in effect would not have existed without the perception of it. Marching off to Moscow, trying to “enlighten” the CIA about a treasonous President, flirting with disaster on a much greater scale than normal, and all because of some dreams, or supposed dreams. It was a situation that demanded constantly trying to get perspective on where my perspectives where coming from. But if from myself only, then those actions would have had the intended effect of increasing the interest of those required for that road to succeed or at least exist for awhile.

          The other place I “recognized” was Kolomenskoe, a park in the south of Moscow. I saw the movie “The Russia House” around the same time, and the recognition of it all was intense; the archway, the cannons, walking along the bricks in front of the church, and the churches themselves. Money problems, legal problems, possible changes going there would create in my life, and the effects spilling over into others lives, it all became pushed to the periphery. I knew that place in another sense, though I can circumstantially be sure I had never actually been there before, but would be shortly. It took less than 9 months to figure out a way to go there and see what I could figure out by being there, what the trip to go there would require, what future it would require, and what that perspective was about or for. Finding out it was called the "Church of the Ascension" was a kick in the pants. The order of which I say this now is simply to set up things to come and to give perspective upon a past I perceived as a necessity. Much that I do and write now has a prescribed order relating to future intended effects. The order may be 1 dimensional, but it is also what some will remember as what really happened, and that is why I take the order of things now very seriously indeed.
 
 

• Radioactive Cereal Principle     November 13th, 2005
• The Radioactive Cereal Principle Part II     December 7th, 2005
• Letter to family members     February 24th, 2006
• What the Asylum Thing Was Really About     June, 2006
• Blog post about how the environment shifted     February 24th, 2007
• Not RCP3 - Ending at the beach where it began    March 15th & 16th, 2007